will be alone ..

As tonight ..really alone. No husband ,No maid, no driver, no son. No nabila/medina (they both fall sleep) I'm alone , I'm still learning to be more relax on this situation. - I just cook the simple one for sahur...just for me. I talk deeply to my self "ida ..oneday you've got 'alone' ... ... ida ..............this is your home after you pass away from the earth till a woken your GOD call.its dark and deep. .. ((It's remind me that my time will eventually come ...) And death is a MUST for each and every one of us !! -i scared .. I'm not ready yet . and i realized ,maybe I'm still limited to the 60 - 70 years ..MAYBE..of our lives .. What's my position ,??The Paradise or the Hell-Fire ??

I came a cross the beautiful words of Allah swt

" when a women observes the five times of sholah , fast during ramadhan, and. OBEYS her husband , she may enter by any gates of PARADISE she wishes ""

But personally, I think it is easier for women for me, to enter paradise because in this a haadith , But instead, the prophet has told us that majority of people in hell are FEMALES.

Ya Allah. Please protect me . i clearly say this is the main guideline if i want enter to paradise ..its easy right?: But : "Follow the order of your husband as much as you can (NOT WANT) and as long as it is halaal." How important it is to obey my husband can be understand by my opinion : It's the husband's duty to provide for the wife and the family and to take proper care of them. A woman's duty is to take care of the household, do the chores, cook, clean, caring children etc. And A good wife will always be ready to help husband, if he is in difficulties. .........yes i did..

So.. Once again ..what's my position next ? I just pray : Ya Allah please forgive me for my sins.....,and replace me into your Paradise , your Jannah,....Amien