How to be agood mom?

Remembering .....Nice conversation with "Yumi" my old friend last Saturday in My Pamily reunion. taking about How I trade my children recently...How to raise independent children,, coz i talk to her about my son at Jogja . that I really miss my son almost 24 hours.. ..Yumi big Laugh ... ha ha.. then we make a discuss about

How to Raise a Child to be Responsible and Become Successful.. by Theory of course !! but we keep promises to talk all about that next time.

BUT I realised that

I just trying to be a good mom. As a theory, A good mother is someone who is willing to be 'a shoulder to cry on' for children. And Parenting is a life time job and does not stop when a child grows up. They learn much more by me as a mom

Here's what i did for them ::

• I try to showing
• My child that I love them by giving my time and attention..
• Iremember the special days/birthday of the child .( 15 peb, 11 jul, 8 may ..-I always makes them special gift and celebrating )
• I Love my children.
• but how do i show that love? I'm not tell them everyday that i love . I'm not kiss them except for medina, I'm not always hug them.but i Always tell them how special they are in my diary, my blog.

But sometime ,i Tell them how much they mean to me .. '''''''''''''''''. I often tell my teens ( gib and nbl) you can do and be whatever you want and they believes me as a mom.

I try my best ;;;

-I Make my children a high priority. It doesnt mean that I'm not take care of myself and my marriage. . I try To discuss together important decisions ,Listen to my children whatever they thinks.. I try to be a good listener as well. and patiently listens to them when they talk or 'curhat', They always have something to say. They seem to have a strong opinion about everything and at the same time they keep asking all kinds of questions.( That's nabila) But I try Always listen to their words. Sometimes they will ask complex questions that will surprise me . discuss with them and try to give simple act and answer. -------- But sometime to hard to Teach responsibility for them.. .Still - I hope , All my children are responsible for helping clean up the house and clearing their dishes off of the table. Children need to understand that they are responsible for their own actions and the consequences that follow. (I often tell to gibran ) . Then i also try hard to Create togetherness through routines. Daily, weekly, or even yearly family rituals like holiday and vacation to somewhere.

Now.... Am I a good mom or bad one ?

1. I have some mistakes I made to them,
2. I speak more in front of the children than just my words
3. I still Try to control myself
4. I realised ..my action sometimes , may be good for me may not be good for my children.
5. I always too protect my children and interven' in their activities,coz I'm worried
6. And About my anger,
7. I always angry for the simple things.
8. I even don't know what's wrong with me.

I just feel that everything isn't going smoothly as I want. ..but i try ,try (Hiii..i scare , some expert says,that Bad Kids come from Bad moms?) I try to keep cool and try to stay patient, When my child to do something wrong and not disipline. ... nobody is a perfect mom in all aspects but i can try to be a good one But honestly i need Take time to recharge. I need to take some time for 'we', me and my husband. I want, My husband and I spend time together to somewhere, , take the time to be together. Is it possible..?

....After all......

see...??? raising a child can be really tough..not easy..somepeople says. That motherhood is 24 hours job and a full time career."( i agree ). But i try to improve become a good mom. I’m doing my best and going to do my best to be as patient as I can ..( I beg you ya Alllah.)

*I've got..a good 'notes' for parents.. Its really popular.. Every parent must read it (not only mother but father too) its very inspiring and a lot to learn.from Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy. If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy. If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty. If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence. If children live with tolerance, they learn patience. If children live with praise, they learn appreciation. If children live with acceptance, they learn to love. If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves. If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal. If children live with sharing, they learn generosity. If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness. If children live with fairness, they learn justice. If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect. If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them. If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

• And Indonesian translate ;

Dari Lingkungan Hidupnya Anak-anak Belajar..!!

Jika anak banyak dicela, ia akan terbiasa menyalahkan Jika anak banyak dimusuhi, ia akan terbiasa menentang Jika anak dihantui ketakutan, ia akan terbiasa cemas Jika anak banyak dikasihani, ia akan terbiasa meratapi nasibnya Jika anak dikelilingi olok-olok, ia akan terbiasa menjadi pemalu Jika anak dikitari rasa iri, ia akan terbiasa merasa bersalah Jika anak serba dimengerti, ia akan terbiasa menjadi penyabar Jika anak banyak diberi dorongan, ia akan terbiasa percaya diri Jika anak banyak dipuji, ia akan terbiasa menghargai Jika anak diterima oleh lingkungannya, ia terbiasa menyayangi Jika anak tidak banyak dipersalahkan ia akan terbiasa senang menjadi dirinya Jika anak mendapatkan pengakuan dari kiri kanan, ia akan terbiasa menetapkan arah langkahnya Jika anak diperlakukan dengan jujur, ia akan terbiasa melihat kebenaran Jika anak ditimang tanpa berat sebelah, ia akan terbiasa melihat rasa keadilan Jika anak mengenyam rasa aman, ia akan terbiasa mengandalkan diri dan mempercayai orang sekitarnya Jika anak dikerumuni keramahan, ia akan terbiasa berpendirian Sungguh indah dunia ini…